Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants;
I'm here before you to stand behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about...
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday
There's a women's meeting for men only.
Free admission, pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

It's a long crawl back to the garden
So get me off my hands and knees
'Cause the church keeps spittin' me out
Now we all know where they're comin' from...
We just don't know where they're goin'.

I am a Christian; I am a Buddha;
Hari Krishna, I am a Jew.
I am Satan, have Zen within me;
I have Jesus. I am human.

We got the same guy every time
In a brand new clever disguise
So before you go and make up your mind...
If Christ came knocking on your door,
Dressed up like the devil, would ya let him in?

Would ya let him in,
Would ya let him in,
Would ya let him in?

I am a Christian; I am a Buddha;
Hari Krishna, I am a Jew.
I am Satan, have Zen within me;
I have Jesus, I am human.
I am Hindu, I am Sheikh;
I am Muslim, I'm an Atheist.
I have Satan, I am Christian;
I am Buddha, I am human, human, I am human

I hope this ain't the wrong direction
'Cause it all feels exactly the same
And it's gonna getcha where you're going
So enjoy the ride and don't get hooked;
They're all the same temptations.

I am a Christian; I am a Buddha;
Hari Krishna, I am a Jew.
I am Satan, have Zen within me;
I have Jesus, I am human.
I am Hindu, I am Sheikh;
I am Muslim, I'm an Atheist.
I have Satan, I am Christian;
I am Buddha, I am human, human, I am human
I am human, human, human, human